Two's not company....
Mood:  irritated

Okay, I was on the bus today.  I was sitting down peacefully minding my own business.  A black man got on the bus and sit in a seat diagonal to mine.  His friend got on a little later and then sat in the seat in front of me.  They were your typical middle aged do-nothing Negro men.  The one in front of me had to kind of face me when he turned to talk to the one that was seated diagonally to me and I felt boxed in.  I've been harassed and bothered too many times by middle aged black men to be stupid so before the situation turned ugly, I told him "excuse me" and got up and left and went sit in a seat closer towards the front of the bus.  I've been in dangerous situations before and I vowed that I'd never let myself be boxed in or cornered again.  Men have a stronger pack instict than women IMHO. A man who may not do anything on his own can be transformed into a harasser or even a rapist with his "posse" there as an audience.  And for men, two is not a company, it is a group.  I've been in situations before and I don't give a damn who thinks I'm "racist"....if I don't feel safe or comfortable, I'm leaving.

 After I left I heard them talking about me.  They remarked that it used to only be white women who feared them and moved when they came near or locked their car doors as they walked by. They were talking about how they cussed this girl out at the bus stop because she was "black" and yet still was cautious and aware around them.  As they said,  "but now, "it's niggaz too dawg and other minority women who is minorities just like we is who do dis". Yes, that's their exact words.  How ignorant.  Basically, the coons were saying that unless you are white, you don't have the right to remove yourself from a potentially bad situation and be aware of yourself when around strange men.  Women have to be careful.  Before becoming so judgmental of us "stuck up bitches" they should walk a mile in our shoes and see the harassment and violence and inappropriate remarks and actions have made us wary of men, especially certain types of men.  He actually got to sit closer to his friend when I moved, so he should've been thanking me.  The ungrateful ass monkey!

 I've said it before and I'll say it again....the older men are the worse when it comes to this behavior.  They are more persistant, sneakier and they like to belittle you in a subtle way when you don't want  to be bothered with someone old enough to be your father or grandfather.  In my experience they are also meaner.  They will turn on you in a minute over something stupid (I've seen seemingly decent black men screaming at their wives, "don't you talk to me like dat, when you got's one of my goddamn ribs". Yes, he was alluding to the Biblical tale to justify this.  They are just so mean over something stupid.  They were not raised in the women's rights era, so they get ugly when you don't fit in your *place*). 

Also older people, no particular race this time, seem to jump to conclusions a lot quicker.  A young man could just be standing in the way of something because they were lost in thought or because they didn't see you and they're all like, "these young people have no RESPECT! You wouldn't have any business if it weren't for us" and then they go off on some tirade on something that has nothing to do with the situation that they jumped to conclusions on.  Those men didn't know why I did what I did.  But no, just like the middle aged monkeys that they are, they just had to start flinging crap, staring shit and jumping to conclusions.  How did they know that I moved because I didn't trust them not to start trouble with me?  They wouldn't have known unless that's what they have done to people, that's what they would've done or better yet, that's what they have seen happen all too often in their shithole neighborhoods and dangerous public transportation systems.  How primal.

The Scarf
Mood:  irritated

Today, I've decided to take a tip from my "brethren" and don a headscarf.  This is not like a hat or a scarf placed on top of already styled hair.  That just invites more harassment it seems.  No, I tied all of my hair up and placed the scarf on top of it so that it covered my whole head.  Thus, no hair whatsoever is showing.  I of course donned my modest apparel and wore the sunglasses that looked like glasses.  That still didn't stop the monkeys.

 While standing at the bus stop, I had several incidents of blue collar workers in beat up trucks still trying to leer even when there was nothing to see.  Of course they were all black and about 40+ years (the older ones are worse as I said earlier).   

 Also, when I was at the stop, a Biggie Smalls look alike tried to  pick me up in his car.  Um, women have to be careful.  No woman is going to give anything to a man she has never seen before.  Some men are so dumb sometimes...this should be common sense.  I told him no and he asked again.  Um, no.

 I hopped upon the bus.  We rode for awhile and then the driver stopped at a bus stop near a shopping center.  A tar-black coon with a gray beard hopped upon the bus bearing bags of groceries (probably nothing but orange soda, 40 oz., and corned beef hash but still).  Anyhoo, when he got on he accidently left his transfer in the box.  "I'm a-sorry my brother", said the old man to the driver,"there's just so many pretty girls I'm looking at I be forgettin' thangs" he croaked.  He then stood there and leered at me like he was about to rape me.  Thankfully, he found someone prettier in the back of the bus and he went back there to ogle and probably stick his tongue out at her and make stupid comments about how she had a "purty face" as they like to call it.

Then I got off of the bus at a transfer point and then sat on a bench to await the next bus.  On the bus that I had just got off, the bus driver had an assistant sitting at the front row near the driver's seat.  These "assistants" are not offical...they are just people that the drivers know and they converse with the driver and ride around on his or her route.  Obviously these people have no life or gumption or they couldn't afford to cruise around and around going nowhere on some musty ass bus and not be getting paid for it to boot.  Anyway, when I got off of the bus and sat on the bench, the bus that I had just gotten off had to sit there and wait for the other buses to arrive.  The "assistant" (another older black man), turned around and kept staring at me and was obviously saying something inappropriate about me (I can tell by the look on their primate-like grills--They've schooled me well).  The driver got off to smoke and he said something to the driver as he got off.  The driver laughed but I could tell the driver was not liking what the man was saying as it was inappropriate but at the same time he didn't want to appear as a "pussy" (as niggers like to say) in front of his cradle robbing little buddy.  The driver gave a shaky "fake" laugh and tried to change the subject.  This is not the first time coon men have talked about me practically right in my face and expected me not to hear it.  Do they think women are deaf? 

This brings me to another pet peeve.  Men, if you see or hear your coworkers, companions or any man you are with doing or saying something inappropriate to a woman or talking inappropriately about her within earshot, speak up.  Why go along with something you don't agree with?  Stand up and be a man.

So far so good...but at what cost?
Mood:  cool
Things have been going ok with regards to the harassment.  I haven't had any "incidents" recently.  To avoid those incidents however, I have to do all sorts of crap that I shouldn't have to. Visit my webpage to find out what types of things I have to do to keep this at bay. The site url is http://fedupwcandb.tripod.com .

Taking a chance....
Mood:  incredulous
Today  I painted my nails for the first time in awhile.  I figured since I've been harassed without polish, what hurt will a little polish do?  The harassment has sapped my self esteem and perhaps a little polish and a little makeup from time to time will lift it.  I only wear makeup when I get a ride in someone's car and only in non-ghetto areas.  The nail polish I think will be okay....if not I can always take it off.  It really is pathetic that men have forced women to become like them if they want to be treated with respect.  A woman is not allowed to look like a woman anymore not due to feminism but due to men.  Feminism is nothing but a reaction to the way men have been doing us for centuries.  Men are the cause of the feminism they hate so much.

Pesto! Alfredo!

Nothing too much out of the ordinary occured today for the type of cretin infested area that I live and go to school in.  I was standing at the bus stop when some Mestizo/italian looking creature almost ran off the road leering at me as if I were wearing a bikini or an halter back evening gown or something. Like I said this man (driving a shitty little pick up truck no doubt) looked like a hybrid of mestizo/Italian which is probably what he was.  Also, the same thing happened today with an anorexic middle aged negro man driving a crappy Pinto when I was trying to cross the street.  When it comes to blacks, it seems as if the older ones are worse than the younger ones, yet are the first ones to talk this "these kids today" bullshit *snicker*.  Anyhoo, what was I wearing today to inspire this neckbreaking?  An oversized teeshirt and jeans.  My hair was in a ponytail with bangs and is about shoulder length.  I dress like this for a reason....I want to go on about my business without being bothered by men who aren't fit to clean my toliet, let alone look at me.  This simply proves that certain ethnic groups  really will do or harass anything female and maybe even each other....anyone hear of the Down Low?

Ay yi yi
Mood:  not sure
Yesterday, I decided to head out on the buses and get some shopping done.  I had finished my shopping but yet had a long time to wait so I sat in the bus depot and waited.  I was alone.  I had seen a group of mestizo men just standing outside of the nearby dollar store.  After awhile, these men just came from the store and one by one they started lurking near the bus depot and then they sat down.  I pretended to be fixing up my bags but I was really looking at them and since I had on sunglasses, they could not tell what I was looking at.  They had this strange look on their faces...it was a twist between lustful and sneaky.  It was kind of a leer/grin.  There were about four of them and the most dangerous looking one was old enough to be my father.  I did not feel safe....I didn't know if they would try something and I didn't like the idea of being outnumbered.  Even if they didn't try to rape me I wasn't in the mood for any harassment.  I just got up and left and stood by the dollar store until the buses started filing in.  When I later had to walk past the depot to get on my bus, the men were no longer there.  I find this odd as I didn't see them get on any of the buses.  I hope I was just being paranoid but it seems to me like they were up to something.  Years ago, I would have stayed there just to not hurt their feelings or not look stuck up and like a racist.  Screw that...my safety and peace of mind is more important than appearances.  I've noticed something with these mestizo men and other mestizos who've harassed me....they are childlike and cowardly creatures on the whole.  The look on their faces was like a little kid about ready to steal a piece of candy from the corner store when no one is looking (the devious grin)....they know they shouldn't be doing it, but just like children, they will do wrong if they think they can get away with it.  Have you noticed that most of the time when men harass, they do it when other people such as seniors and men are not around or they do it in more secluded areas?  They want you more or less alone or with several other women they can belittle.  They will try to do it to defenseless "innocent looking" women and they will do it when they are "protected from getting caught" like in a car or way off from the woman in a distance.  When you get up on them, the blacks will own up to their behavior, but the mestizos will just pretend to be busy with something or pretend to walk off and not see you.  They are cowardly childlike creatures.  Well, I've had to grow up quickly due in part to men and harassment.  I am no longer childlike and I am onto the game.