Different Faces...

Goodness, it has been a long time since I had something to write about up here.  That's because it has been a long time since my last episode of harassment.  My opposers like to say that I'm picking on black men or that I'm making things up but my long absence proves that I'm not looking for trouble or I would've made up something to fill the void.  I write what I see and I write what happens to me.  The truth hurts.

Today, the weather was a bit warmer than it has been as it should be.  It is March after all.  I was sick of covering my head and I wanted to enjoy the warm weather so I just didn't put on my head covering and wore my curly hair out.  I guess that was "my bad".

 I was sitting at the bus stop waiting for the bus when I saw a man smoking by the bus stop.  I noticed him watching me but since I don't like trouble, I just pretended that I did not see him.  My bus came and he got on the bus along with me.  I was like "perhaps he just needs this bus. "  I didn't want to be paranoid so I just sat down.  The whole ride there he kept staring at me.  I was completely covered.  The only thing out was my head and my hair is not even shoulder length yet.  When I pulled the cord to get off, he had stopped staring but as soon as he heard the "ding", his head whipped around and he looked dead at me.  I was wondering, "the cord makes the bell go off and the bell is at the front of the bus, so how did he know I was the one who pulled the cord?"  I started to get a little worried as women have to be careful.  I got off the bus and he made a big show of swiveling his head and leering at me like some rapist when I stood to get up and walk to the front to get off the bus.  So, I got off the bus and proceeded to walk to my apartment complex.

 All of a sudden, the bus stopped again and he got off at the next stop which is almost near the one I got off at.  I didn't want some strange man knowing where I lived, so I went into the convience(sp?) store near my house and bought some stuff.  When I came out like 10-15 minutes later, he was outside of the store.  I was tired of dicking around with this man so I headed home.  Everytime I would turn around he'd be following me, close enough that I'd know he was following me but far enough so that he could lie and tell the police that he was just out for a stroll.  I didn't go straight home, I made some "loops" and he was still following me!

I turned and yelled, "why are you following me?"  He made a big show of pretending that he could not hear me.  This man was about 44 years old which is not old enough to be that hard of hearing.  Give me a break.  So he ran up to me and was like "what did you say?".  I repeated, "Why are you following me?  Don't follow me."  He tried to get all nasty and pretend that he was just out for a stroll and that I was a stuck up bitch blah blah blah.  I got tired of his chirping, so I just took out my phone.  "Ah, why you gots to do dat?" he asked but he just backed away and left when he realized that I am not his mama.  I don't care if he spends the night in jail.  Yes, this man was well dressed, about 44 and black.  If he were any other color or age and he was following me, I would have reacted the same.  I have zero tolerance for stupidity out of adults.  It just seems that some people give me more hassle than others.

 So, in conclusion, I'd like to say that it always cracks me up when men of all races leave comments here on my blog acting like I'm the villian for simply telling it like it is.  First of all, you are a man just like them.  They don't want you and even if they did (ever hear of the down low), they know that you could whip their asses and the rape would not progress very far.  They are not going to treat you like they treat me.  Therefore, your experience with black men will be different than mine.  This should be a relatively simple concept for all but the relatively simple. So, when you leave comments like "I have a black buddy at work named Jamal and he's cool.  What is your problem lady?", you make yourself look real stupid.  Yes, Jamal may be cool around you but around me, or even his own black women, when I'm standing at a bus stop he could be the main one screaming at me out of his car like I'm some hooker and having a nerve to get angry if I give him the finger for it.  People have a funny way of showing different faces to different people and blacks are no exception. You'd do well to remember that.

Get a Clue
Mood:  down
Today the usual offender (middle aged and black) tried the same old harassment.  Yawn.  I was leaving the downtown mall.  I just stared at him.  He was one of the men waiting for the bus probably who was lounging in front of the mall.  I saw him before I walked by him and he was watching me with interest...a gleam in his bloodshot eye before I even approached.  I was wearing a bun and prescription eyeglasses and a long loose fitting black coat.  I dress like that on purpose to avoid harassers.  Men lie in wait marking proper harassment victims from a distance planning their dumb little script out.  I proved today that it is not what you look like, it is simply the fact that you are female and they somehow feel its necessary to "call you out" as if you didn't know you were female already.  Gee fellas, we're big gals now and we've been bathing ourselves for quite sometime now....we already have figured it out.  As I walked off from him, he said to me angrily, "why you lookin' like dat fo?" as if he were angry at me for not responding happily to his harassment.  Goodness, I have a question for you as well Mr. Harasser....you've likely been born and raised here in America as were your parents.  So why is it that 12 year old immigrants from India speak better English than you?  I've said it before and I'll say it again: blacks love to talk about how the youth today are supposedly so much worse than older people yet the population of middle aged black men who have no place of their own, no education, no language skills worth shit and nothing better to do than harass working women is huge.  Do get a clue.

Plus-5!
Mood:  incredulous

Today, I had 5 episodes of harassment.  What was I wearing today?  A long black coat and a headscarf that covered all of my hair that's what. 

1. As  I was walking to the bus stop today, this anorexic old coon kept leering out of his car at me and almost hit this man with his car he was so busy staring at me and craning his head to see me even though there was nothing to see.  Blacks grow up, niggers don't.

2. I was walking through the parking lot of k-mart and this latino was sitting in his car with his wife and he kept leering at me and making noises at me like I was some animal.  Not only was this disrespectful to me...it was disrespectful to his lady.

 3. I was walking through the parking lot after this and this nigger kept screaming "hey gurl, hey gurl" at me.  Um, ok.

4. I was sitting in Burger King eating a meal when this black dude (about 30ish) entered with this Italian-looking girl.  This was obviously his girlfriend as he was mixed with black and blacker and clearly wasn't biracial (so she wasn't a relative).  They got their food and left.  I was sitting near the window.  As they left and she was trying to get the car door open and stuff, he sneakily tried to keep staring and grinning at me through the restaurant's window while she was occupied.  Goodness, niggers are like small children....you can't turn your head for one second and they're already trying to do something they know they ought not do.

5. I was walking home past the gas station and there was a car full of monkeys.  "Hey girl" they said to me and kept leering at me like they were going to pull me in the car or something.  I just walked on and kept my head up high and straight.  "Do yo thang then" they said.  I didn't get too upset with these guys because they were young (20 something).  But as you get older, you should get better and wiser and that is why I have ZERO tolerance for older harassers.  They ought to know better.  Blacks are the main ones who want to talk about "DEEZ Young folks today" and it is the older blacks who are worse in my experience...they are just sneakier.  Trust me on this--I am not just talking about men and harassment either.

 

I Dream of Rain...
Mood:  spacey

Okay, today was a strange day as far as harassment and inappropriate behavior go.  It begins with a very strange dream I had just before I woke up this morning.  I dreamed that I was at the bus stop near a local ghetto-folk infested mall and I was robbed of my purse at the bus stop.  There were two robbers and they both were heavy set and looked to be either mestizos or biracial (mestizo mixed with black).  It was terrifiying.  I didn't get a good look at the face as it was dark outside in my dream (it's winter and you know how the sun starts setting at like 4:04 in the afternoon). The only reason they didn't get my cellphone is because I had taken it out of my purse to call the police as I saw them advancing upon me.  Right before that dream, I had had another dream of a black man harassing me on the bus poking at me and jeering at me as if he were a middle schooler.  Those dreams were terrifying and I woke up in a cold sweat.  What a way to start the day!  I don't know if I even should call those dreams dreams....they were more like premonitions.  I think that maybe God or some sort of Spirit is trying to tell me something as I rarely dream that vividly and rarely in such detail.  I mean I can still see those men now.  I also do not dream that close to waking up.  I think I was allowed to see what I saw so close to waking up so that I could remember it and beware.  I am not even what you would call a religious person and whenever someone starts speaking of signs, I'm like "um, sure".  But now, I don't know....no way can I dismiss those premonitions....they were too real and they were about a mall that I frequent a lot. 

 Anyhow, I was at the bus stop today (no this wasn't a dream) and as I was walking to the stop, I saw a middle aged black man in the parking lot near the bus stop leaning on a car and talking to someone in the car.  As I was coming, he just stopped and stared as if I were walking down the street in a bikini or an evening gown!  I had on a past butt length jacket, black pants and was wearing a ponytail and sunglasses.  I looked at the coon as mean as I could and proceeded to wait for the bus.  I had on my headphones so that he wouldn't try to talk shit.  About a minute after  I got to the stop, my friend Corey came to the stop.  Corey is huge and he is half black, half Native American, young enough to be this monkey's son and most importantly, respectful of women.  The coon promptly stopped leering.  As the coon was leaving, he had his car windown open and pulled near me and was looking dead at me as if to say something out of the way but he looked at Corey and just drove off.  Boy was I glad Corey was there or that monkey would have tried something for certain!

 Also, after I got to my destination, I was walking through the parking lot and there was a thin 20 something monkey in a car who kept waving at me like was some sort of dog or toddler.  He probably would have made some dumb comments but I was too far away and his car window was up.  He kept trying to get my attention and I just turned around and kept staring at him like I thought he was crazy and then he just left. 

 Today has been a strange day on the coonery and buffoonery front.  Strange indeed....

Face Off
Mood:  sharp

Yesterday I was riding a bus that was fairly empty.  The bus stopped and two black middle aged men got on.  They smelled of beer and I could smell trouble.  Thank goodness I was ready to get off soon.  As I left, "have a nice day" one of them croaked.  I was sitting in front of them so I said "you do the same" and then left getting off the front door without ever turning around to let them see my face.  I could tell their "have a nice day" was not a sincere one.

 The trick is that if you are sitting so they cannot see your face or front, they will try to say something to you as you are getting off so they can have a better look at you.  You see anything turns them on even a washed face and some chap stick.  I'm tired of them leering at me like I am some stripper on a pole when i very obviously dress to be left alone.  The way I dressed the only thing they can see is the face and they will constantly leer at that and make inappropriate comments, dumbass grins and stupid gestures.  So I was polite not to anatognize these goons (I don't want them to gang up against me) but yet I still didn't give them what they were looking for which was a glance at the "grill".  Some men are so predictable.

The Dancing Queen
Mood:  party time!

Today I paid to go see a concert of one of my favorite bands.  My friend and I got there early so we perused the mall before they opened the gates.  The mall is kind of upscale/ghetto.  What I mean is there are a lot of higher up people who go there due to the type of stores they have.  But also, because the mall is downtown and downtown=ghetto blacks, a fair number of them are going to be there as well knowing damn well the only thing they can afford in there is McDonald's and the dollar store. There is no way around it.  As I was heading into the mall, this black man was lounging around loitering in the foyer and kept leering at me and sticking out his tongue and making these motions that were supposed to be sexy but were gross and dumb.  I didn't give this zoo animal the attention that he obviously so desperately craved.  I pretended I didn't see him.  My friend and I didn't stay in the mall long as the show was soon to start.  As I left, this same coon trying calling out things to me and again I didn't give this primate the attention that they're used to.  This primate was the typical 30 something male Negro loiterer with a dirty hat on his head probably waiting  for the transit bus.

 Anyhow, this was a blemish on the night but I wasn't going to let a monkey-man ruin the evening for me.  We went to see the concert and the band was great.  This was a rock band so the crowd was about 97% white.  There was alcohol served here and this was a rock band so there were people jumping around, screaming and acting crazy.  But even with all of the crowds, the moshing, the people screaming in delight and the liquor flowing, I felt safer at this concert in the dead of night than I ever feel in broad daylight on a bus with only a few coon men around me.  And that's the truth.  Things are safer and better for every female (especially the pretty and/or young ones) when black men are not around.

Running the Gauntlet
Mood:  on fire
Well, today I was getting off of the bus.  And you know on the front row of the bus sitting right by the door i had to exit from was a middle aged monkey talking the bus driver's head off because he had no life.  Today I was wearing a mid-thigh length jacket and a hood (i.e. in other words, I was not dressed to promote harassment).  As soon as I stood up to get off, the monkey spotted me and of course the first thing that goes through a black man's mind when he sees a female is "I must let her know that I know she's female with a sexual remark or gesture".  So, he kept leering as I walked to the front.  "Heeeeey" he croaked not in a friendly way but in a sexual way when I didn't even know him like that.  I just gave him the same blank look that I always have on my face.  You can't show emotion to buffoons. He tried to wink and I still stared him down until I got off the bus.  I looked him dead in the eye to let him know that he wasn't going to make me cower and make me be intimidated.  I also kept looking at him to let him know,"yes, I heard your ass and I am still not going to speak to you because I don't like your approach or attitude".  I didn't have on my headphones either so he knows I heard him.  You see, they're like children....hopefully he'll be conditioned after enough encounters with females like myself that females do not respond favorably to this.  If you are not my peer and you cannot approach me or speak to me in an appropriate manner (i.e. don't get sexual with me when I don't even know your name) and you have nothing to offer me (and trust all three of these applied to him) then leave me alone.  It's not hard boys (yeah, I said boy.  Act like a man and you'll be called one).

True Colors
Mood:  incredulous

well today I saw the man who humilated me.  You can read about the original incident on my homepage http://fedupwcandb.tripod.com .  Go to the true stories of things that have happened to me section and check out incident one.  Of course, he's your average middle aged black public housing rat.

Today I saw him on the bus and he tried to pretend he didn't see me.  He would never even look at me.  I saw him talking to the bus driver (actually a decent black man) about books, education and uplifting the black race.  I just wanted to run up to the driver, scream and shake him and say to him,"that man is not who he appears to me".  To the driver, the harasser was simply a black man interested in the religion and the elevation of blacks.  Oh please!  You see, this is a prime example of how sneaky they are.  The younger blacks are more straightforward.  The older harassers are sneaky and to the world they are upstanding normal human beings...to their victims they show their true selves.  I've seen the harasser around a couple of times since he dogged me and people seem to think he's a normal decent fun lovin' guy because that's what he portrays to them.  What a farce!

 I am not trying to "downplay" the experiences of rape victims in any way, shape or form.  But I now get a portion of what they feel when the rapist just goes through mingling through the community like a normal person after he's degraded them and left them constantly watching over their shoulders for the next attack.  Unless he goes to jail for his crime, they have to see him around the neighborhood and relive a bit of that experience every time they see him again.

 The next time I see him, I will snap his picture and keep it for future reference....if he so much as breathes loud around me, that pic is going to the cops for easier apprehension.  They make me sick with their farces....how they are one way to one person and a completely different person to someone else....someone higher.  Someone they think they cannot intimidate, control, have fun with or get away with something with.  These middle aged coons make me sick.

Jungle Behavior out of "Elders"
Mood:  irritated
Today I was sitting on the bus and this  older black man stepped on and kicked my bag and didn't even say excuse me.  Yet, later he had a nerve to try to give me the sensuous grin and "hollar" at me though.  Blacks are so rude and they have no respect for young people as human beings.  I've seen it time and time again....they'll practically run you over and crush you or your merchandise and they will not say "excuse me" or "sorry" or anything like that to a young person if it kills them.  You are supposed to treat all humans with respect until they prove that they deserve otherwise.  This man had to be at least 60 years old because I saw him pay the half fare which is only for persons 60 years old and above.  Which means that he was too old to be acting rudely...he was CLEARLY old enough to know better.  Yet all society wants to harp on is how young people are rude and disrespectful to women when it is NOT the young people it is the supposed "elders".  Give me a break.....you really can't bring blacks anywhere but the jungle. 

Another illustration to my many points...
Mood:  irritated

I was a-cruising along on the coonmobile (aka public bus) today.  The bus driver has a male friend who always sits on the bus and rides around with her as  she does her rounds (no he doesn't pay, yes he has no life).  I've been seeing him for awhile and I had no problem with him until today.  Today he kept staring at me with this dumb little grin on his face.  You know the grin that Negroes give you when they think you "look gud gurl" (nevermind that they'll get turned on by a washed face and combed hair).  Anyhow, I simple ignored him.  I heard his ladyfriend say to him "why you keep staring at her" or something like that.  "You no want me to look at da gurl?" he said (yes, he sounds like one of those carribbean coons).  Then he said something that meant since we are not exclusively dating, I do what I damn well please.  Men want to do what they want at the expensive of others....they don't care how their actions affect other people....they will continue to do what they want regardless of how others feel and that is why the world is in the warlike tumoultous state that it is in.  Just pick up any history book if you don't believe me. Of course he was your typical ugly, pitch black, too damn old for me peace of crap.  This was definitely not one of my worse incidents by far but I put it in here to illustrate that only a true nigger will eyerape another (conservatively dressed) woman while he's all up on his own woman and be dumb enough to do that shit right in her face. Niggers!